AN APOLOGIA

by Lexiann Grant
Email: lexiann@adelphia.net
Copyright© 1998-1999

The following article has been provided by the above author. All copy rights are held by the author and any reproduction of this material in whole or in part must have the authors approval.

When I look into the yard to watch my dogs at play, I am awe struck by their perfect beauty. Maybe that isn't saying much considering that I find most dogs a lovely sight to behold. Dogs possess a pure beauty, their appearance - despite the vast differences between breeds -- remaining essentially the same for thousands of years. And, they are such a part of nature, almost at one with the rocks and trees around which they run. Anything that has stood the trial of time and tide for so long deserves veneration. So when their beauty takes my breath away for a moment, it is not a silly thing.

For me at least, such moments are times for reverence of things we cannot fully own, understand or create, only appreciate, and be grateful for the opportunity that our lives are shared with these wonderful creatures.

I certainly don't mean to anthropomorphize dogs into furry, four-legged little people, or elevate them into a lofty position of perfection far above the foibles of human beings. I do think however that it is completely reasonable to admire them for the goodness that they bring to us.

Recently, a woman, named Dee, who has always lived on a farm, told me with a great many apologies, "I know it sounds silly, but I don't leave for the day until I kiss my dog on her nose." Having known animals, including dogs, in a utilitarian way most of her life, she was embarrassed that she had come to feel such an intense, "useless" emotion for her new canine companion.

I tried to explain to Dee that loving a dog was not shameful and she shouldn't feel ridiculous because she wants to -- and does -- kiss her dog. Although, in the past most breeds existed primarily to work for their owners, thankfully, times have changed and we now have dogs as companions and family members. We live with dogs because we enjoy them and there is nothing wrong or stupid about doing so.

Why do we feel, or are often made by non-dog people to feel that our love for our dogs is silly or worse? Granted, there are people who go to extremes, but most of us who love dogs recognize that having a relationship with a canine is an incredible, life-enriching experience. There are few greater gifts in this sometimes painful, usually difficult life, than to love and be loved by a dog.

Not much can turn a bad day better than the wag of a tail. Even Dee, had to admit that when she was upset, she hugs her dog who in return makes her feel better, "She is such a comfort."

During a span of nine months, my father, a beloved aunt and a good friend died.For months after, experiencing emotions deeper than a humorous chuckle were too intense, bringing forth unhealed grief that I didn't want to feel. My solution was to shut off my feelings. But days lived without emotion are as barren and sad as those filled with grief.

To keep my heart from turning to stone, I turned to my dogs. I wrapped my arms around them and buried my face in their fur. Breathing in rhythm with their peaceful breaths, calmed me. The purity of their love rekindled warmth and light in the temporarily darkened corners of my soul, and I learned to love, laugh and feel again. Because of a relationship with a dog, I was uplifted and restored. As I told Dee, "They are not just a comfort, they are a huge comfort."

At other, more "normal" times, our relationships with our dogs still effect us deeply. We watch their intelligent eyes watching us, dog and human, thinking, trying to figure out what the other species is doing and why. We laugh at their antics, we discipline ourselves to care for them, we forgive their misdeeds and we are smarter, better people because of what we learn from and through them. We interact with our dogs at a basic level of emotion so profound, it is difficult to explain to non-doggy people the benefits these relationships bring.

So why we are ashamed of the complete, head-over-heels, crazy-in-love feelings we have for our dogs? Why do we hide our expressions of canine love from the dog-impaired people (persons without benefit of dog) of the world?

Because they don't understand. Because they think we are crazy. Because dogs are "just" animals... The reasons are endless... pointless... meaningless to those of us with dogs.

Personally, I don't care who knows that I love my dogs, or how deeply I feel and am committed to that love. (Besides, I earn my living by expressing these emotions.) I feel no shame when a non-dog person laughs at my canine eccentricities and feels sorry for me that I don't have a "real" life without dogs. In truth, I feel sorry for them because they don't know that their lives are lacking something and that something is loving a dog.

The life lived without a dog-human relationship may be an unexamined life. Such examination often brings unwanted knowledge of self, as well as acknowledgement of the need for change and growth, if one is to become the better person that those of us are who love and responsibly live with dogs.

At our most introspective moments, when we list things in our lives for which we are grateful, remember to be thankful for dogs and for the positive qualities which they evoke in us. Don't be ashamed to acknowledge that we love dogs and are happy because we do! It's not a bond of silliness, but one of joy. …And this world can always use more happiness, beauty and joy.